研究表明，一个人的人际关系好坏和他平时的说话习惯是高度相关的。老话说得好，祸从口出，糟糕的说话方式很容易破坏你平日里精心培养起来的人际关系。看看以下的6种说话的禁忌有没有在你身上发生吧。
研究表明，一个人的人际关系好坏和他平时的说话习惯是高度相关的。老话说得好，祸从口出，糟糕的说话方式很容易破坏你平日里精心培养起来的人际关系。看看以下的6种说话的禁忌有没有在你身上发生吧。
1. The Fake Agreement: Pretending to agree while expressing the opposite point of view。1.虚假认同：假装认同别人的同时却表现出相反的观点。
Typical usage: “I''m with you… but I just don’t think we should take on that project。”经典语句：“我很赞同你的观点……不过我不认为我们应该采用那个项目。”
In reality you aren''t really with me because then you would agree with what I’m saying. (Plus beginning a sentence with something like, “I hear you…” is like a condescending pat on the head。)事实是你根本不同意我，因为不管我说什么你都会说你同意。(补充一句，如果一句话用“我听说你……”这样的语句来开头的话，听上去就好像上级拍着下级的脑袋在讲话一样。)
Don’t try to couch a different opinion inside a warm and fuzzy Fake Agreement. If you disagree, just say so professionally。不要试着把不同的意见硬装在一句友善的、模棱两可的赞同中。你要是不同意，就直接正式地说出来。
2. The Unsupported Closure: Ending a discussion or making a decision without backup or solid justification.2.缺乏支持的结束语：做出缺乏支持和有力证据的总结或决定。
Typical usage: “At the end of the day, we’re here to sell products。”经典语句：“在今天的*后，我们为了*产品走到了这一步。”
Really? I had no idea we’re supposed to sell products!真的吗？我根本不知道我们原来是要*产品啊！
The Unsupported Closure is the go-to move for people who want something a certain way and cannot or do not feel like explaining why. Whenever you feel one coming on, take a deep breath and start over; otherwise you’ll spout inane platitudes instead of objective reasons that may actually help your employees get behind your decision。这种缺乏支持的结束语是说话人的一种强迫他人接受的说法。他希望某件事要以某种方式发展，但却无法或是不愿解释为什么。每当你想到一个什么点子的时候，*好作个深呼吸然后开始讲述；不然你只会吐出大量毫无意义的陈词滥调，而不是能够帮到雇员们理解你的决定的那些客观原因。
Quick note: A Fake Agreement combines nicely with an Unjustified Closure: “I hear what you’re saying, but at the end of the day revenue concerns must come first。” Win-win!顺便一提：虚假认同和缺乏支持的结束语简直是天作之合：“我听说你讲的话了，不过在今天的*后还是应该先考虑收入问题。”瞧，简直是双赢啊！
3. The False Uncertainty: Pretending you’re not sure when in fact you really are.3.假装不确定：假装你对某件事不确定，但实际上你非常确定。
Typical usage: “You know, when I think about it... I’m not so sure shutting down that facility isn’t the best option after all。”经典语句：“你知道，当我仔细思考的时候……我不确定把那个工厂关掉是不是*好的选择。”
Oh, you’re sure; you’re just trying to create buy-in or a sense of inclusion by pretending you still have an open mind… or you’re planting seeds for something you know you will eventually do。噢，你根本就知道啊；你这只是为了假装你仍然觉得模棱两可罢了……或者你正在为你知道你*终会做的某件事情埋下伏笔而已。
Never say you aren’t sure unless you really aren''t sure... and are truly willing to consider other viewpoints。只要你不是真的不确定，而且真的愿意考虑其他人的想法，就永远都别说不确定……
4. The First Person Theoretical: Pretending to be another person in order to explore different points of view.4.人称假设：为了寻求不同的看法假设自己是另一个人
Typical usage: “Let’s say I’m the average customer and I walk in your store and want to buy a shirt.。。”经典语句：“假设我是一个普通的消费者，我走进你的商店想要买件衬衫……”
You can get away with this one occasionally, but more than that is really irritating。偶尔作出这种假设是可以的，但要是不停地这么说，就真的很让人恼火。
Don''t believe me? Let’s say I’m the average reader and I know someone who uses the First Person Theoretical to pretend he''s putting himself in another person''s shoes. And let’s say I’m thinking it’s really irritating. And let’s say I’m…不相信我的说法？那我们假设我是个普通的读者，我认识一位经常使用人称假设的人来表现自己善于换位思考的人。假设我觉得那非常恼人，假设我……
Let''s just say I’m thinking we should move on。假设我觉得我们该继续下一个话题了。
5. The Favorite Phrase: Using a phrase so often that word is all anyone can hear.5.语癖：总是重复地说同一个词语，搞得大家除了这个词外什么都听不进。
Typical usage: Any phrase that gets hammered to death. Here''s an example。经典语句：任何那些被人用烂了的词语。下面举个例子。
I knew someone who never met a sentence he couldn’t find a way to shoehorn in a random “in other words,” "as it relates to," or “in general。” Often he could cram all three into the same sentence multiple times。我认识一个人，他说的每句话都可以被他硬塞进诸如“换句话说”、“提到……”或“通常而言”之类的套话。而且他经常可以在同一句话里多次使用所有这三种表达形式。
Fall in love with a word or expression and not only do other people tire of it, they start to hear nothing else. Then whatever you hoped to get across gets lost as they think, “Oh jeez, for once could he leave out the ‘that’s neither here nor there’”？当你爱上使用某个词或是表达方式的时候，人们不但会对它感到厌烦，他们也开始听不进别的东西。于是，不管你希望让他们明白什么，他们都不会听进去。“噢天哪，他什么时候可以不要说‘非此即彼’这个词了啊。”
Ask someone if you overuse a word, phrase, or figure of speech. At first they’ll look uncomfortable and try to avoid answering. Insist。问问别人你有没有过度使用一个词、句子、或是修辞。一开始他们会觉得不舒服，并且尝试不作回应，坚持听下去。
Eventually they’ll tell you, and I guarantee you’ll never do it again. 但*终他们一定会告诉你，而且我你永远都不会再那么做了。
6. The Double Name: Using a person’s name twice (worst case using your own name twice) in the same sentence as a way to justify unusual or unacceptable behavior.6.两次提到同一个名字：在一句话中两次提到一个人的名字(*糟糕的情况是两次提到你自己的名字)，期望以此来纠正别人反常的或是令你无法接受的行为。
Typical usage: “What can I say?" Shrug. "That’s just Joe being Joe。” (Worse, “Hey, that’s just me being me。”)经典语句：“我还能说些什么呢？”耸耸肩，“Joe终归是Joe啊。”(更糟糕的是，“嘿，我就是我现在这个样子啊。”)
Whenever you use the double name you’re actually excusing behavior you would not tolerate from someone else。无论何时你用了这种说法，你都是在为一种你自己无法容忍别人那样做的行为辩护。
And everyone knows it。而且大家都知道。
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